Today's post is keeping it real. A real full of advice, so pens and paper people for any brainwaves!
If you have met me in person, you probably know I get into some pretty intense conversations about achieving goals, overcoming the past and obliterating limiting mindsets. And in my day to day chitchats of late, I have certainly heard these words being uttered out of the mouths of well-intentioned goal-setters.
'I'm just finding (X,Y,Z) really daunting.'
'I'm busy but not really any closer to what I set out to do.'
'I'm lacking motivation.'
'I've been procrastinating on X, Y, Z.'
I speak to some hella talented people, and understand that while you may feel like superman or wonderwoman, doing what it takes to really make 2015 your year can bring up some resistance.
If you want to skip straight to your relevant scenario and get some answers and strategies, click one of the links below:
Otherwise, read on darling! If it repeats itself then it is damn important, so write it down and turn it into an action step!
If you are feeling daunted by your goals, let me tell you what you need to know and then read on for some tools to get you past this point.
Remember that you more than likely chose that goal for a reason that is especially important to you. You know that achieving or moving bravely towards that goal will get you closer to the life you want to have and the person you want to be.
When a goal gives you that 'Ooooh crap!' feeling AND imagining yourself there feels good, then it is probably exactly what you need to pursue.
There are both conscious and subconscious thoughts in our mind that are making us believe that they are either unattainable for us, or the kind of achievement that will bring up both great and potential negative results. In other words, there are consequences of achieving your goals that may be putting you off. Yes, that big, exciting goal may not be sitting snugly with what part of you wants. The mind says things like 'But if I become a stage performer I will miss out on family nights.'
There are other scenarios specific to you. 'What could be going on in the back of my mind?' is a worthwhile question to ask. Sometimes it comes down to a lack of self belief. If any insights come to you, share them with me.
Ok! So here is what you can do about it!
Actually move bravely by doing the single most important action that will lead you to that goal. Schedule in be brave time (#bebrave) and notice that the action you are most avoiding is far more important to getting you that goal. Enjoy the exponential progress in personal growth and real results.
Visualise yourself enjoying the benefits of this goal and backtrack in your mind so you can see the little steps and habits that got you there. The big picture is made up of little 'non-daunting' steps (although, yes, some will be crazy exciting!).
Go the other way by doing three little steps before you write your mega to-do list. (These lists can be a bit of a guilty pleasure, so I like to go ahead and do what I know needs to be done before I ponder next steps.) If you want to win a body-building competition, call a personal trainer, book in a first session, and throw unhealthy food out of your cupboard before you can talk yourself out of going for the win.
Adopt a persona/character who thinks bigger is better. In fact, my alter ego is called 'Big Bec' and she comes out whenever I need to stop playing safe and go for the crazy dreams.
Do an important task for 10 minutes. Notice how continuing is a piece of cake after that!
Fill in the blank and say it with your hand on your heart. 'Even though (perceived negative consequence of getting goal), I am committed to achieving my dream for this year.' For example, 'Even though I will be judged, I am committed to sharing my new book with 1000 people.' It's kind of saying, yeah shit happens- so what? I am doing this!
I am obviously very interested to hear your thoughts on what you anticipate with me the small negative effect of a very rewarding goal!
Perhaps you are starting slow this year but feel practically burnt out already.
This is what you need to know:
You will do anything for a sense of achievement, but immediately feel bummed out when you realise it is just 'busy work'.
When your direction is crystal clear, the next best step appears.
Our little, consistent actions add up. Faith and patience, lovely.
This is what to do if you find yourself just being busy.
Schedule time to do nothing. Enjoy your leisure time properly.
Say no more than yes. Is this the best use of my time? No. Random person wants to catch up and you haven't even worked out this year? No.
Ask yourself- 'What am I avoiding?' Then do that. In fact, do that within the first two hours of your day if it is logical and possible. Eat that frog!
Limit yourself to one significant task per day. Yes, little habits are important, but don't intend to make amazing progress towards three goals on the same day. (Although cross-over will happen naturally.) If you want to do the splits (ahem, that would be one of my little, hard goals), give that a full day's intention. Then you will spend an hour on it instead of five unfocused minutes. Again, say no to the need to do too much.
Ask this simple question. Is this actually really bringing me closer to my goal? You may think shuffling paper is the key (God knows I swear by throwing out old stuff to make way for the new!) but is it really a clear step in the right direction. Only you know.
And the power of asking 'Why?'. 'Tell me, amazing mind, why do I keep running in circles instead of doing what is most important? You will get answers if you go deep enough! The next best question is 'What do I need right now so I can take care what is most important?' You may need a dose of self-belief or to ditch old 'obligations'. Again, you have the answers, Gorgeous!
If you are feeling unmotivated, know this:
Our health affects mood which affects motivation.
Motivation can be created in an instant.
Motivation is not always the precursor of action. In other words, you can do what needs to be done with a little discipline and mindless robotic pursuit of a predetermined goal.
Action can lead to motivation.
Lack of motivation may be a sign of depression, but truly, this lack of motivation affects almost everyone.
We gotta know why we are going for our goals if we are to ever be motivated!
Sometimes our goals are bloody uninspiring, even to us, and we set them for the wrong reasons.
Get healthy. Sleep more. I am miserable and physically and attitudinally (is that a word!) weak when I don't sleep well. There are plently of health blogs to support you with this.
If you are feeling really down, speak to someone and get help. Talk to me or a doctor, hotline or friend.
Tack your desired disciplines next to already built habits. It is called habit stacking and you can read about it here. Brilliant! Habits don't need motivation.
Write down 101 reasons for achieving your goal to create an undeniable 'Why'. See if that gets a fire in your belly.
Use your intuition to help you decide if this is really the right goal for you or if you feel pressured or actually uninterested in it. No harm scrubbing it off the list and making way for something that is really you.
Give yourself a sweet slap down if needed. What would the world be if nobody acted without motivation? Great leaders may not feel 100% pumped all the time, but they act for the greater good. Can you make a concept of 'duty' the replacement when motivation takes a walk? Lack of motivation is no real excuse. Take care of it with one of the above actions. Yes. Action!
And finally, procrastination.
You can take care of this with any of the other tools listed on this post. But here is what you need to know.
We feel soooo good when we actually take care of business.
Procrastinating takes up so much mental space that we might as well just 'do the thing'.
Procrastination can kill self-esteem and confidence.
Lack of confidence and self-esteem lead to procrastination.
The part of you that inherently doesn't give a toss and wants to be lazy can have its needs met if you work smarter, not harder.
Procrastination can be a clue as to the inner workings of our mind and can be a compass pointing us in the right direction.
Take care of procrastination by:
Using affirmations such as 'I live life like a winner' or 'I take care of business' or 'I refuse mediocrity'. You cannot say that to yourself all day and sit on your butt.
Start before you're ready should be your new motto. Stick it on your bathroom door.
Schedule relaxation time and actually relax! Notice how when you feel deprived of chill out time, everything seems better than work, even when you know you want to hit that goal. Be where you at!
Use the 10 minute game. Give yourself 10 minutes to work towards a goal and notice that you are pulled in my the momentum.
Remind yourself of the end game and how amazing it will feel to be proud of yourself this time next year when you can say that your dreams are coming true. Even quickly imagining how crushing it would feel to not make progress can snap you into action. Then deeply visualise how you and the world will look and feel when that dream is reality.
If someone else can do what you are avoiding and do it better than you, get them to do it. This is why I have a cleaner and gardner.
Listen to your intuition and body. Are you avoiding this because it actually is not important? If not, what is?
As soon as you have a hint of motivation, get straight onto what you need to do. We actually achieve more in less time when we are motivated, so capitalise on any feeling of excitement. Advanced yet simple tip- Whenever you feel motivated, click your fingers so that when you want to create motivation, a snap of the fingers can trigger that emotion.
List your 'beating procrastination' wins or 'Dones'. It feels great and builds confidence for future lacklustre moments.
Stop focusing on all the little tasks and do whatever has real impact. No more to-do lists. You know what really counts.
There a tonnes of other ways you can get a wriggle on with your goals. Share them with me in the comments and ask any advice about your particular situation. You are supported.
Above all else, know that if the goal is meaningful and it really lights you up, having utter faith in it happening and acting as if it will happen is vital.
Tell me, are there any other blocks you are having when it comes to your goals? Let's work out what is really going on. Once we do this, real magic begins to happen.
I can't wait.
If this was useful in any way, share it with someone who may be feeling a little lack-lustre about their intentions for the year. We are in this together people!
All my love,