Dress Ups! How to build Confidence: Part Two

A colleague of mine condemned my best friend and I for ridiculously playing ‘dress ups’ when we record our music and make videos. He doesn’t understand why we play full out in our lives and become what it is we most desire. He doesn’t understand the ‘fake it til you make it’ is more than just a way to build confidence, but a way to make better decisions. After all, how do you know if you want something unless you are fully immersed in it? It is only by acting out the life we want that we gain better clarity about whether we are doing what we are meant to do.

When we emulate greatness, we close the gap between the lifestyle we have and the lifestyle we want. Between the people we ‘are’ versus who we want to be. This is powerful, because we can demystify what it means to be great. Often, it is not about who we are but how we act.

In acting out greatness we start to notice that we are closer to our goals than we realise. We are capable because we take risks. We are living fuller lives because we dare to play out our ideal life, even in moments, to remind us that our dreams are possible.

So building confidence…

Act out the role you want to play in life.

Until it feels like you.

Until you notice the power you have to be incredible.

This is how I took the leap into being a singer-songwriter.

To be honest, apart from one performance in high school, I hadn’t sung in public for over 18 years. I recall a time in primary school where I wrote a concert about ‘Space’ and sung it with my friends. It has been a long time since then and I have only just decided to be the singer-songwriter of my childhood dreams. It has involved taking bold action, considering my lack of training. But I plough ahead by doing things like sharing my songs, spending (perhaps too much) cash on recording singles, releasing live videos and recording professional ones. It has taught me that the glamour is an illusion but the art is real. That I care more about making music than making people like me. That when I am not creating I feel like a limb has been cut off. And that I would do all this for fun. And in terms of confidence I know that I am safe to take risks.

On the other hand it is clear that I have heaps of work to do. That I want to almost entirely avoid the process of touring and be extremely selective about my live performances. And that I would be absolutely happy entertaining people from a screen. Doesn’t sound like anything like being part of the music industry, but at least I have learnt what it is I want through practical experience.

If there is a dream you want to dabble in, go ahead. To be significant, you do need to go all out, but JUST to get your head clear about the life you want to lead, spend some time acting as though it already is your life. See how it feels. Is it a good fit? How would you lead this life on your own terms?

What could you do to see what life could look and feel like if you taste-tested that dream? For my talented fiancé, he started learning photography for fun and offered to take pictures of my brother’s wedding for free. Apart from producing some amazing first time work, he understood how he’d like to run future shoots, how much he did enjoy wedding photography and that he deserved to get paid for it. He also did a baby photo shoot and as cute as the images turned out, he knew it was not the direction he wanted to take with his professional photography.

Pretty great for just 'taste-testing' wedding photography. This is a shot from Daniel's first wedding shoot.

Pretty great for just 'taste-testing' wedding photography. This is a shot from Daniel's first wedding shoot.

A couple of days of taste-testing does lead to greater clarity about what you want. Not sure how to taste-test what you want? Ask me.

The next best thing to help you build confidence in yourself about your dream is to visualise yourself immersed in that life. Notice where you are happy and thriving. Identify the struggles and challenges and work out if it is all worth it. And know that if you can see it, it is absolutely possible.

What will you be dabbling in to see how it takes your fancy? Where will you act like a superstar and begin noticing that you are not as far away from your goals as you may think?

Tell me in the comments below.

Have a beautiful week!