I blocked my Mum.
If that sounds callous, it's exactly how it felt.
For a few years, every time I would post something inspirational on social media, I would choose a custom setting that removed my mother from the list of people who could see what I wrote. You see, when I grew up, my mum told me that Oprah Winfrey was annoying. When she heard an well-intended uplifting quote, she would make a gagging sound. She occasionally tells me to ‘NCIS’ someone- (her chosen acronym for NLP- she is hilarious!), and she sends me videos on the value of pessimism. When she did see my heart-felt posts a couple of years back, her comments were akin to ‘LOL’. She once even posted a vomit emoji!
I’ve been coaching for over five years now, and whilst I never coach without permission, some of my questioning techniques, stories and scenario-reframing kind of slip into friendly conversation. It’s who I am. I also no longer remove my mother from seeing my posts.
Here is the trigger for me writing this post.
The other week on the phone, my mother said these words;
‘Bec, you inspire me, you know. Seriously, it's true.’
I was floored.
I had tears streaming down my face and I tried not to sniffle in her ear.
She then went to talk about the value of positive thinking and how it’s helped her become happier and more grateful.
The same mother who won’t tell people when she’s getting on a plane until a day before, in case she ‘jinxes it’!
After the phone call, I let the moment and the lessons sink in.
And today, I want to relay these to you.
Never shrink or hide your light, your growth, your wisdom or your pride in your journey from anyone.
1. You deserve to enjoy your ever-realised powers! You are going places and making a difference, so staying committed to being who you want to be.
2. Those who may seem to resist your flavour of growth are those who you might rub off on one day. You might slightly trigger someone for a year or two, but eventually you may be a small part of why they are happier. For those readers who love to help others, be willing to go through that feeling of being judged in order to make the real difference you have dreamed about.
3. All the above has a beautiful flow-on effect. See the biggest, brightest picture of how things could turn out and act accordingly.
Also, a word to other coaches reading this. A while back my own coach (and her coach and his coach) said that those who seem the most critical of what you are doing are often those who are eventually most interested- and, as it turns out in the case of my mum, most impacted. This is another reason to not hold back when it comes to sharing, making proposals or leaning into truths that seem edgy. You are attracting the perfect people.
Do you adjust your level of brightness in certain scenarios or around certain people?
(Quick share: As I reflect on this I realise that my behaviour during karate class fluctuates, especially being around so many inspiring people. Shrinkage may occur!)
Do you feel self-conscious or unsafe in any way as you are evolving? Could you change your experience of this?
Who would you like to invite into your way of seeing the world? Who would you like to work with or impact? You can start just by setting the example and trust that by being your best self, those on your radar may follow suit. If anyone seems overly critical or you feel overly uncomfortable around someone, an awkward conversation may be the medicine. If you need coaching around how to have an awkward conversation, ask me. I’m an expert at awkward convos!
And if any insights arise from this or you want to share your thoughts, please comment below. I would love to respond to you here and invite others into our conversation. You never know who is watching! They may need your questions and wisdom.
Have faith, precious, and remember you are more powerful than you can fathom.