What is Holding You Back? Ask your Wildest Dreams!

I discovered a new favourite process.

The language of ‘thinking big’ has become part of the modern vernacular. Typo drink bottles tell us to ‘Never give up on your daydream’ and it is being reinforced in education that the youth of today can do or be anything they want. Vision boarding has become a yearly ritual for those who hope to see the Law of Attraction manifest yachts, mansions and Jaguars, and 5 minutes of fame- or longer- is on the cards for anyone who is social media savvy.

But really allowing ourselves to have big dreams, grounded in achievements or experiences does not come naturally. And whilst we could run off a list of things that would be nice, we rarely allow ourselves to fathom these coming to fruition.

Probably because it is uncomfortable.

Probably because it triggers so many of our underlying beliefs about ourselves and the world.

So, as a personal experiment, not in just setting big goals and working towards them, but rather as a way to elicit underlying feelings, I went through the process you will read about below. It seems run of the mill, in terms of the list of ridiculously huge goals (to my mind anyway), but it fast tracked one of the most important steps in personal growth, which is identifying underlying limiting beliefs. Fortunately, because of my practice and love of a good ol’ reframe, I was able to turn these beliefs into really important and useful questions and affirmations. It is so illuminating and really fun, though at times confronting.

What I adore about this process is the way it fast-tracked the finding and zapping away of what has been holding me back. When we try to work out any ‘issues’ or ‘mental blocks’ in our day to day, often we are too close to the issue or it may feel petty or insignificant, so we keep repeating the same patterns. The negative beliefs are insidious and maybe so subtly present that we never find a reason to work on them. They grate away and result in us not fully showing up with confidence. I would love it if you have a go at doing this process. You just need a pen and two pieces of paper. I used a two page spread of a notebook.

Instructions to find out what is holding you back EVERYWHERE IN LIFE!!


On one page, write the biggest, craziest dreams, fantasies, wishes that would seem outrageous to you.

It may say things like:

  • Have a best-selling novel that is made into a film.

  • Live in a mansion with an indoor pool.

  • Be best friends with Amy Schumer (Jennifer Lawrence can get stuffed!)

And so on.

STEP TWO (I skipped writing this step and went straight to step three)

For each of the fantasies you write, consider what is stopping you from having them. Keep asking yourself why not until you get to a root belief or problem that would majorly impinge upon you fulfilling these. Remember, this does not mean these dreams are your most important goals. They are meant to be wildly huge to you so you can work out what is keeping you from the next level.

Make a list of any of the issues that came up for you. It may be that you think you ‘aren’t good with people’ or ‘have no time’ or ‘need to be prettier’.


On the second page, reframe the negative beliefs into empowering statements that show you how

  1. You are already in the process of overcoming what is holding you back.

  2. The issue is a non-issue.

  3. You are able to shift this belief.

You make have a list that says:

  • People from all walks of life can get rich.

  • I am my own kind of genius.

  • I have many rewarding relationships with ‘people’.


Now you have a bank of statements that really support you and address the beliefs that hold you back more than any other. Whether you need to make a new friend or network like a machine, if it is hard for you, the issue will be the same. Use these statements as daily affirmations. They are what you really need to hear right now!

You may end up with a page like this.


See me doing the process on myself as an example in this video.

It can be hard to go through this process alone if you aren’t used to asking why, and why, and why, and why! If you need help with this or any of the stubborn beliefs that pop up, find out how we can work together so I can support you through some big life changes.

Remember, the same limiting beliefs or blockages will come up when you go for little wins or huge goals. It is always worth getting to the icky bottom of these, shaking them up, flushing them out and replacing them with something new and beautiful that will serve you.

Shaking things up with love,