What happened after I blocked my Mum

I blocked my Mum.

If that sounds callous, it's exactly how it felt.

For a few years, every time I would post something inspirational on social media, I would choose a custom setting that removed my mother from the list of people who could see what I wrote. You see, when I grew up, my mum told me that Oprah Winfrey was annoying. When she heard an well-intended uplifting quote, she would make a gagging sound. She occasionally tells me to ‘NCIS’ someone- (her chosen acronym for NLP- she is hilarious!), and she sends me videos on the value of pessimism. When she did see my heart-felt posts a couple of years back, her comments were akin to ‘LOL’. She once even posted a vomit emoji!

I’ve been coaching for over five years now, and whilst I never coach without permission, some of my questioning techniques, stories and scenario-reframing kind of slip into friendly conversation. It’s who I am. I also no longer remove my mother from seeing my posts.

Here is the trigger for me writing this post.

The other week on the phone, my mother said these words;

‘Bec, you inspire me, you know. Seriously, it's true.’

Hold up!

I was floored.

I had tears streaming down my face and I tried not to sniffle in her ear.

She then went to talk about the value of positive thinking and how it’s helped her become happier and more grateful.

Whoa.

The same mother who won’t tell people when she’s getting on a plane until a day before, in case she ‘jinxes it’!   

After the phone call, I let the moment and the lessons sink in.

And today, I want to relay these to you.

Never shrink or hide your light, your growth, your wisdom or your pride in your journey from anyone.

Here’s why.

1.       You deserve to enjoy your ever-realised powers! You are going places and making a difference, so staying committed to being who you want to be.

2.       Those who may seem to resist your flavour of growth are those who you might rub off on one day. You might slightly trigger someone for a year or two, but eventually you may be a small part of why they are happier. For those readers who love to help others, be willing to go through that feeling of being judged in order to make the real difference you have dreamed about.

3.       All the above has a beautiful flow-on effect. See the biggest, brightest picture of how things could turn out and act accordingly.

Also, a word to other coaches reading this. A while back my own coach (and her coach and his coach) said that those who seem the most critical of what you are doing are often those who are eventually most interested- and, as it turns out in the case of my mum, most impacted. This is another reason to not hold back when it comes to sharing, making proposals or leaning into truths that seem edgy. You are attracting the perfect people.

Your turn.

Do you adjust your level of brightness in certain scenarios or around certain people?

(Quick share: As I reflect on this I realise that my behaviour during karate class fluctuates, especially being around so many inspiring people. Shrinkage may occur!)

Do you feel self-conscious or unsafe in any way as you are evolving? Could you change your experience of this?

Who would you like to invite into your way of seeing the world? Who would you like to work with or impact? You can start just by setting the example and trust that by being your best self, those on your radar may follow suit. If anyone seems overly critical or you feel overly uncomfortable around someone, an awkward conversation may be the medicine. If you need coaching around how to have an awkward conversation, ask me. I’m an expert at awkward convos!

And if any insights arise from this or you want to share your thoughts, please comment below. I would love to respond to you here and invite others into our conversation. You never know who is watching! They may need your questions and wisdom.

Have faith, precious, and remember you are more powerful than you can fathom.

Love Becky

Feeling Frustrated? Well, aren't you lucky!

Hi Champion!,

I've been doing lots of inner work around frustration, noticing it cropping up more frequently in my daily life, and with a curious mind, I have invented and rediscovered old attitudes about frustration that could be the little miracle you need right now. I recently shared with my subscribers a bit about my own frustrations during the creative process, but right now I'd like to cut to the chase and give you these juicy insights.

Attitude 1: Frustration Equals Engagement
If you are frustrated, it means that you are taking action (or on the brink of it!). Most the time we experience feelings of frustration, it is because we are in the midst of some kind of action. If I become frustrated as I am learning a new skill, the alternative would be not bothering at all. That’s no way to make progress! It also may mean I am deeply engaged with an idea or a desire. Isn’t it better to go through life actually caring and being invested in something than feeling complete apathy? If you are feeling frustrated, rest assured that you are a sentient human (a human being and DOING) and not a robot.
Now when I am frustrated about creative work or realising a mission, I can shift the energy in the moment by saying, ‘If I’m frustrated, it means I care and that makes the journey worthwhile’.

Attitude 2:  Frustration Precedes a Breakthrough
I’ve been around just long enough to know that frustration never remains frustration. It always happens before a breakthrough, and so in persisting through frustration, we guarantee that we will have an epiphany and that all the pieces will click into place. I like to see this through the framework of ‘exponential growth’, wherein getting good at honing in on the little things, (while feeling a sense of slow-going) an abrupt skyrocket is closer than we think. That’s exponential growth. With this attitude and perspective, we value the journey and the ‘tests’ that present themselves along the way.

Attitude 3: Frustration Invites Reflection
Frustration tells us that there is something specifically not working that needs to be addressed. It may be limiting attitude or belief. It may be something technical in your line of work that needs refinement. Articulate PRECISELY what it is that is frustrating you. Not because it’s a coping mechanism (which it is!), but because it’s a clue that there is something that needs nurturing. When I have felt this way, it has prompted me to hire help, research a gap in my knowledge or put hours into the right kind of work. Your frustration has a message for you! Discover what it is and let that guide your action!

Do you have your own approach to frustration? Any attitudes to support you and any favourite ACTIONS to take, affirmations or practices that support your management (or obliteration) of frustration? Share with me in the comments.

Sending you lots of love, reader. Happy learnings!

x

Becky

What to Do When the Proverbial Hits the Fan...

When your world seems to be crumbling around you…

When two trains of thought are headed in opposite directions, yet are veering to collide…

When everything hurts…

There is something you must do before you watch it unravel or take bold action.

It’s not simply ‘positive thinking’- though that works.

It’s not ‘TRUST’, though that offers more comfort than you could imagine.

It’s not ‘Take things into your own hands’, though it’ll get you ‘unstuck’ quick-smart.

The one thing you must do when life becomes messier than expected…

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Why I Love Valentine's Day

With a tendency towards the romantic (writing songs, poems and constantly wearing my heart on my sleeve), you may imagine that the only reason I love Valentine’s Day is because the world seems as love sick as me. But the real reason I love it- or at least the one I want to focus on today, is that Valentine’s Day teaches us one way to do life.

Valentine’s Day is a perfect reminder that we can choose to make a big deal of important things (like love!) whenever we choose. Isn’t it magical that just by allocating a day to celebrate relationships, more people give to their loved one, offer gestures- many of which cost no money, make little special moments and ultimately experience more smiles and that happy buzz that accompanies many of us throughout the day? Even for those not in ‘romantic relationships’, romance becomes possible between friends and family members who look to show their affection in deliberate and grander ways.

So knowing that all it takes is a simple decision- to name a date and act in accordance with the values it promotes, it makes me wonder how we can do this more often. One way is to DECIDE to make little moments special. Even the nice things we do for others (because we are nice!) or the sweet routines we have scheduled (like ‘Date night’) can take on an elevated level of importance if we make it so.

I  am conflicted here, lovers. I believe that looking forward to something makes the journey special, but can potentially leave people underwhelmed if the reality doesn’t match the hype. No expectations= no disappointment. And I also know that where our energy goes, results show, and so by choosing to make a moment special, it is far more likely to be.

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How to Speak in Adult and Improve Your Relationships

When it comes to communicating in adult relationships, it would be amazing if we could keep the dynamic ‘adult-to-adult’ as often as possible. Yet, particularly in response to stressors,  it is easy to develop unhealthy parent-child relationships or communication ‘transactions’.

(Note: In psychology there is a theory in Transactional Analysis that delineates between states of being- child, parent and adult. However, this post does not strictly reflect these archetypes, especially in relation to the child state.)

Sometimes when communicating with your loved ones, partner or colleagues, you may feel so exhausted that you slip into ‘child’, hoping that someone will take care of everything for you. Sometimes, we step into ‘parent’ when someone is having a meltdown, because instinctively we are looking to balance the dynamic by treating them like a child.

But the best way to balance any adult relationship dynamic is to have both parties respond and react in ‘adult’, even when it feels unnatural.

Here is an idea for a really nice way to communicate in ‘adult’ when you want to channel your parent persona. Be honest by acknowledging that you are working on changing your communication.

‘Right now, I’m getting this urge to try to tell you what to do, but I know that you know what is best for you. If something comes up, I’d be interested to hear about it and I’m here for you.’

The same principle of talking through these urges applies when you want to be in child OR when you believe you are about to be ‘parented’. ‘Darling, I feel like crying and dwelling in this feeling of helplessness so you’ll step in and rescue me with advice and compliments. But I am capable of getting through this on my own and I would love to be held accountable to my own strength.’

You can imagine, too, that even just thinking these thoughts would create a remarkable shift.

I personally feel like in many areas of my life, I too often respond in child-state (or let people ‘parent’ me), as I’m eager to learn and interested to see what people have to say when they have their parent hat on. But this has also made it difficult for me to have real, balanced conversations with people who have become accustomed to this dynamic.

Working as a teacher, I’ve become used to being in parent-state, and even been advised to ‘be a mum’ when in a teaching-learning space. Yet, I know that the more adult to adult transactions that occur, the better it will be for the education and empowerment of my students. I think coaching adults is when it is easiest to foster that adult-adult communication.

Wondering if after reading this you are even more aware of when you may be in child-state (lost, curious, positioning yourself as less capable/ in need of mothering), parent-state (bossy, giving, domineering, critical) or adult (acknowledging that we are both ok and capable).

Let’s talk adult to adult sometime.

Would love your thoughts in the comments, especially in terms of how where you have noticed interesting relationship dynamics according to the various states of being.

xxx

Love you,

Becky

Slow Down? What it actually looks like and why it works...

Slow down to speed up is one of my all-time favourite miracle-creating distinctions. It is also exactly what I need to hear, even when I don’t want to hear it. It is always the advice I give myself when asking, ‘How could this be even better?’. It is also the answer to almost every time I ask ‘What went wrong?’.

The value of slowing down has been increasingly spouted in a world that seems designed for fast-paced beings. With the right google search, and for the right price, what we desire is one click away. Many of us have several sources of income, because we can or because we feel we have to. And with the prevalence of social media, it is all too tempting to crave and pursue more than our mental bandwidth can handle. We are taught to dream big and to act on those dreams. We are more conscious of our fellow human and environment, and feel compelled to do more. And the sense of urgency is the undercurrent that carries many of us through our days.

So how do we get to where we want to be, faster and more sustainably than ever by actually slowing down? What does it look like to slow down to speed up? It can look like:

Engaging with a deep presence

Wherever you are, be there. Get fascinated. Get obsessed! Find the joy, love, intrigue and wonder in what you are doing. You will do it better than ever and make it an unforgettable learning experience. Oh, and this encompasses the all-powerful concept, ‘One thing at a time!’. There’s a double-whammy for you! That could mean very structured time dedicated to one of your goals. Or it may mean to you only ever having one goal at any given time. Either way, when you have your eye on the prize, allow that to be your only love and pursue it fiercely… and… slowly…

Giving skill building greater priority than the ‘goal’.

Even as you focus on a long-term goal, instead of fixating on a broad achievement, commit to refining the skills and techniques you need to be the person who produces or attains something tangible or ‘memorable’. For a person who is looking to reach a new level in sales, slowing down may look like a month of studying and committing to rapport building. For a martial artist, it may be focusing on precise hip movement for a year in pursuit of a grading or tournament.

Slowing down and paying attention to the details

In peak performance, this means slowing down an action (such as a dance move, a melody, a punch, the pronunciation of a foreign work), physically or through visualisation, to notice every detail that is working to make it work, or not. You can imagine or perhaps relate to that excitement of building a new skill and how tempting it is to ‘skim learn’ it all. Just by slowing down you notice skills that are transferable in that area of expertise. A singer can improve overall breath control by slow-motioning a chorus melody. A gym-goer can be more conscious of which muscles to recruit by trying a move slowly and noticing and misalignments or over-dominant muscles. Slowing down in the literal sense can help you ‘speed up’ your progress.

Making self-care, your non-negotiable priority

If you live a fast-paced life, committed to serving others, personal development and over-achieving, radical self-care may seem like an over-indulgence you can live without. But, when it comes to slowing down in order to speed up it is incredibly important to look after yourself in a way that feels a little over-the-top. That means getting deep rest and down time BEFORE you desperately need it. Committing to preparing healthy meals before the day starts instead of jumping in your car to beat the traffic and then settling for unhealthy take-away later in the day. It means pressing pause on training until an inflamed injury begins to subside. It means scheduling in to see the doctor, naturopath or masseuse before you desperately need it. You will feel, more often, that you can plough forward when you commit to a life of radical self-care that does feel WAY TOO SLOW! And, you’ll be able to achieve more than you ever imagined in a way that is sustainable.

Being consistent

Even though it may not be fun or sexy, playing the long-game involves being consistent. Giving things a bloody good chance to take shape and effect. Slowing down means getting comfortable with consistency. This could mean committing to a rehabilitation program, half an hour of exercise per day, saving X amount of dollars per week and not letting making exceptions become the norm. This will take you from the sense of struggle to one of empowerment, because you are doing what you can, and it WILL have a real pay-off.

Taking time to reflect

Instead of fumbling our way through our days weeks and years, you need time to reflect on and learn from your experiences. Take notes as you have ideas. As for planning, not everything needs a detailed plan, but setting an intention before you begin something can make that time far more meaningful. Spend time considering what you want and how you want it BEFORE you begin building a skill, taking on a project or having an important conversation. It may be a simple as thinking, ‘In this meeting I intend to discover how I can specifically help this person.’ What a powerful guiding point. And after you are done with the meeting, practise or fun day, collate your lessons with an actionable follow-up so that you can make these lessons real for you. There is nothing that feels slower than just sitting and thinking, with or without the pen or paper. But this critical thinking time is where you will come up with those life-changing lessons and ideas that will propel you into something great.

Asking the important questions

Do I need this? Does this align with my goals? What is my body and intuition telling me? How could this be more amazing? Am I being who I need to be? Imagine the progress possible if you afford yourself the slow-down time to do a quick check-in. You could reign yourself in when you slide off the path you envisage for yourself.

Playing the long-game

Underpinning the above it the willingness to wait forever for what you desire. Get comfy. If you knew it would take 20 or 40 years to be there, how would you do it? Slow and steady. With lots of focus, curiosity and love. With attention to detail. It means that you will give yourself more time than you think you need! If you want to achieve a goal in a year, give yourself five. If it’s worth waiting for, it’s important to you. It will mean that you can do it in a way where you can enjoy the process, take care of yourself and build the skills and CHARACTER you need to own it when you get there.

These are a handful of practices that can get you on the path to slowing down. I hope you allow them to change our life forever and for the better.

AND DOWN TO SPECIFICS

Need more specific, real life examples? Here’s how it may work on a day to day basis…

-          Give yourself just one important task or focus per day. Put all your energy, love and focus into it and you will do it well, fully and set the foundation for growth in that area.

-          Write an intention card and take three deep breaths before changing activities.

-          Create an alarm to go off every couple of hours that reminds you who you need to be.

-          Pick one skill to develop per month and go nut- slowly and obsessively. Pro tip: When I feel a little ‘bored’ doing the unsexy stuff, I ask ‘What would I do if I were obsessed?’ It always results in me going deeper than ever, and loving the process even more.

-          Having a slow ‘critical thinking’ bath every week. Keep a pen and notepad nearby and write down any ideas that arise.

-          Eat your breakfast without doing anything else. Chew slowly and notice the flavours. I say ‘Mmmmm’ whenever I eat something because it promotes mindfulness, gratitude and pleasure.

-          Don’t go to the gym without factoring a warm up, cool down and stretching into the routine. If you only have a hour allocated, then that’s a half hour of intensive exercise and then rest for warm up and cool down. Remember, we are playing the long game.

-          Following and trusting your intuition, even if it seems to take you off track momentarily. Trust that you know what is best for you and that this ‘slowing down’ will eventually unfold in your favour.

If you're curious about how this has worked in my life, my subscribers received an email with a little more detail about where I have learnt to slow down in all facets of my world. You can always subscribe below to get a more personal perspective of these insights, and receive some cool freebies to transform your life.

If you were going to take slowing down to the next level right now, you may think about jotting down a few ways you can transform your day-to-day by planning to be in it for the long-haul. Do it with a cuppa or schedule a bit of time later today to process this so it can change your life forever. You’ll be healthier and happier.

To snail-pacing it!

Love Becky xx

PS. These ideas are just a tiny drop in the pool of slowing down genius! Can you share some of your own examples in the comments?

 Two world titles- two VERY different experiences. A valuable lesson in peak performance.

Two world titles- two VERY different experiences. A valuable lesson in peak performance.

 The iconic post on how get that elusive 'confidence' you crave.

The iconic post on how get that elusive 'confidence' you crave.

Stop Living By Default!

Have you ever stayed at an Airbnb? Every so often the house comes with a detailed manual, filled with copious instructions for accessing the internet or using the washing machine. At a little place I stayed in France, this manual was adorned with pictures, handwritten squiggles and even a few puns.

Manuals are rarely this sexy, but I’m in the process of making one of the sexiest manuals I know. And I’d like to invite you to join in on an epic but oh-so-worth it, over-the-top, overachieving, A-type endeavour that is more fun that you could imagine.

Yep. We’ll be writing the manual of how you do life.

I’m getting really clear about the design of my 2018, and while I’m completely open to the unexpected, there are a few certainties I’ve decided upon. And instead of going through the motions, I’ll be creating micro-strategies around these so that they are more fun and lead to more ‘upgrades’ than ever.

Our ‘strategies’ are at play every day, every moment. They reflect the order in which we go about beginning and completing a task. They also encompass the feelings and thoughts that arise in these moments.

For example, when you’re getting into your car and turning on the engine, you may unlock the car, open the garage door, open the car door, slide in (left butt cheek first), throw wallet/handbag and lunch on passenger seat, put the key in ignition, turn the key, press down on the brake, put the car in reverse, ease of the brake and accelerate out of the garage. I’m sure that was enthralling! These are micro strategies in the process of going to work.

But imagine not everything runs so smoothly. You fumble through your bag to find the keys you thought you left there yesterday. You forget your lunch in the fridge. The ‘Refill Petrol’ sign comes on. Suddenly you are mentally preparing yourself to be late for work. These little ‘clunks’ throughout the day are completely normal. But if you really want to fine-tune your life to have more mental bandwidth for what matter most, you need to take care of the nuances of your day.

For the next week, write down two things, as the first step to designing your life.

1.       What you want or what you want more of in your life. It may be something more abstract like love or energy. Or it could be music, family hugs, money and so on. It could be a new skill like salsa dancing, drawing or using a computer program. It could be who you want to be, like organised, focused or emotionally resilient. Anything goes.

2.       Next, write down any ‘clunks’ where you feel like you are chasing your tail, feeling lost, frustrated, unnecessarily awkward, in pain, etc. Write anything in your day to day or weekly experience that seems to draw you further from everything you want.

A short sample could be:

I want to feel spacious, rich, organised, strong and get a better ear for latin music while saving 20% of my income.

The clunks: Going up and down the stairs when doing chores, experiencing knee pain when at the gym, waking up in the middle of the night, savings card declining, getting distracted by phone…

Now it’s time to look at the whole picture and set some rules and structures for yourself. I’ll warn you that these are way better to do zoomed in with utmost attention to detail. But broad rules and strategies still work their magic. The person in our sample could set a few time-oriented, action driven rules to make life easier and more aligned with their desires, especially by eliminating clunks.

RULES

1.       Phone on airplane mode from 9pm til 9am and for one hour during ‘focused work time’.

2.       Listen to a latin music playlist on the way to work every morning.

3.       Always put item in their appropriate ‘home’ once used. Have a downstairs and upstairs basket to avoid excessive trips up and down stairs.

4.       Every Friday evening do a finance review. Transfer 20% of income to savings account and work out weekly budget.

5.       Stick to bedtime routine- no technology, a shower, lavender oil and quiet journaling within an hour of bed.

6.       Take fish oil, silica and joint repair vitamins with breakfast each morning.

See how our person now has some rules and practices that are simple, AND could change their entire experience of the day to day?

Now, as you try this yourself, you may find some other ‘clunks’ come up when following these rules. I don’t know about you, but my partner has a habit of wanting to show me funny videos pretty late at night! Sometimes your family need to know your rules. These structures may also require a bit of set up, like buying vitamins, joining a music streaming site and putting a journal beside the bed. You can take your time as you redesign your life.

Just know that you don’t always have to just respond. You can create!

In NLP we zoom right in on micro-strategies. A couple of years ago, I set up a micro strategy that makes it virtually impossible for me to purchase new clothes. I have to go through a list of about 10 questions and get a yes answer to each before I go ahead and spend my hard-earned money. If you are interested in learning more about this, get in touch and I’ll help you reprogram your natural strategy from anything from eating food to making conversation with a stranger.

When designing the manual of your life, you can assign days of the week for:

·       A sport.

·       Complete alone, relaxation time

·       Learning a new skill

·       Grocery shopping

·       Social media binge

·       Sex

·       A family outing

and so on…

You can also design step by step morning routines that make each day begin seamlessly. It helps when you have a night routine that gets things in order. I have some templates you can use to design the most nourishing practices of your life. You can also do these before and after large chunks of time, like a karate class, business time (like actual business, or maybe this one!) or driving. I find habit stacking another great way to be more conscious of your life, achieving more with less effort than you would expect.

Despite how organised this all seems, you have full permission to get super messy and jut scribble in a note pad til the truth emerges. You can lock in the lessons and clear actionable practices later. I bet you’ll find that you have put up with a lot of fumbling around, torn energies and misalignment for a while.

Never stop refining your life and in the process, pursue your deepest desires and big ‘impossible’ dreams.

You can choose how you do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. In fact, you should!

Lots of love,

Becky

PS. Visit the Resources page to get your copy of the Reinvigorate workbook that will help you create your most seamless life.

What Winner Knickers Look Like

If you read on, you'll see the little gift to myself after winning a World Karate Title. I got them at the airport before flying back to Sydney. After I missed my first flight. But that's another story.

The real ‘Winner Knickers’ were very different to those in the picture.

I remember the Sunday morning I put them on. ‘You can’t win a World Title in these’ was my first thought. It was closely followed by a second, more delicious thought- ‘These will be the undies I wear when I win the 2017 World Championship.’

You see, either through a vigorous washing cycle or the underwear fetish of my little King Charles Cavalier, my ‘winner knickers’ had a massive hole in them. Not to the point of any discomfort. But I would have felt the difference if I stood in a cool breeze.

The ‘winner knickers’ represented everything about me that wasn’t perfect or ‘not deserving’ of winning a world title. In the lead up to the competition I wondered if I should be doing more. I considered swearing off icecream. Wondered if I should be even kinder to be a better representation of a ‘champion’. Sometimes I’d look at the mess in my house and think that surely a champion would have a pristine living space. I’d write dark song lyrics and think maybe I should have pristine thoughts as well...

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How to Get Your Mojo Back

It’s natural to feel the ebbs and flows of life. Sometimes, in a day we can go from energised to flat. Over a month, women can feel like different people. And throughout a year, stress, uncertainty and fear can lead to a losing touch with what makes us US!

Since the beginning of 2017, I have been managing my migraines differently. The experience of ‘getting a migraine’ can be as debilitating as ‘having a migraine’. Knowing it is coming, anticipating its presence, fearing a change in the weather and having to avoid overstimulation can sometimes be like a half-life. Especially when you are a go-getter. If you experience migraines, I can share what I have been doing lately to better manage them- but for today, this post is about something different. I mention the migraines because at the end of almost every work day and Friday, I experience a dip in energy, so much that I need to lay down and preferably nap. Nothing wrong with a power nap.

But every so often, when I completely and consciously remove all self-expectation and perceived pressure, I put myself in the best position to get my mojo back. I become happier, energised and feel safe, free and far more me.

I want the same for you. The following advice is for you if you have been chasing goals, spinning wheels, feeling overworked, tired and perhaps a little lost. I could add so much more to the list, but I promise these will have you sorted out in no time!

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Sorry I'm awesome. So are you!

Sorry, I’m awesome. So are you.

Your success and happiness may come at other people’s inconvenience. You can make peace with this, as I have. From personal experience and from the work I’ve done with other people, here is what I have learnt.

Some people may feel a bit safer when you are not well. They can play a role they love- the comforter, or perhaps it makes them feel reassured that they are not alone in their suffering. When they see you happy, they may be unsure how to interact- how to play out that dynamic.

One client’s mother was completely bummed out, almost shutting down when he, her son, would espouse the beliefs that have made him embrace all of himself. There is a lot going on here. One factor may be that mum just wants to be mum, and without the same worry for her son, she has to re-evaluate the role she plays in his life. You can probably imagine that this guy would find it intuitive to hide his happiness for fear of being brought down. But, no, no. That’s not how we play.

Another story I hear (and know from experience) is when, in a relationship, one person is completely triggered by the other’s achievements or happiness. Whether it’s for a minute or months, that person may seem to sink lower, as though in any one given partnership there must be a perfect balance of misery! You are a reminder of what is possible, and so close, for them. Again, you may be tempted to hide your success. But no, no. That’s not how we play.

What if the people around you are used to the old you that would complain, bitch and moan, and somehow they would feel like they didn’t know you at all if you became positive and loving about yourself and the world around you? Wouldn’t it be tempting to complain, bitch and moan, for old times’ sake. After all, that side of you is kinda endearing. No, no. That’s not how we play.

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